They would always say that you shouldn’t let your kids suffer from your choices. I agree, no parents should do that to their kids. Was I foolish to keep them with us while we were starting a new life here in Cebu? I guess not.
Aside from God and my ever supportive husband, the girls are my strength. Without them around, I could have gone psycho, and worse dead for that much stress. THAT MUCH STRESS, yes. It was hard to keep everything together when I was broken myself.
But here I am, writing this blog so probably I am now okay. I have bounced back, this time tougher than ever. Minsan talaga, kung makapagbigay ng leksiyon ang buhay…WAGAS.
Lesson 1: Less is More
No, the girls didn’t really suffer in the truest sense of the word. They were well fed, clothed and had a good bed to sleep in. They had the comforts of television, WiFi, tablets, car and what not. So technically, they were more than okay. Most of all, they didn’t hear us fighting or saw me break down because of too much stress. The emotional security was unwavering and I think that was more than enough.
What we temporarily removed from their day to day lives: eating out, fast food, constant malling, senseless buying of toys, overflowing supplies in the pantry. In short, we just removed the things they can live without.
This made me realize that we survived without all those things for several months because they weren’t really necessary! Those are usually perks gone mainstream because one has too much money to spend. The money that we didn’t have.
Lesson 2: Delayed Gratification
How many times did I see leftovers thrown because they were already spoiled?
How many tons of uneaten of half-eaten bread, biscuits and juices were left in the fridge?
How many toys are ignored, sitting in their respective boxes because they just have a lot of toys to play with?
My kids are blessed with so many people who love them to bits. And they get a ton of food, clothes and toys from them. So I really can’t blame them if they are not unintentionally appreciative of the things surrounding them. Sobra sobra eh.
During those trying times, they learned to appreciate what they had: the few toys they brought from Cavite, the food we had on the table, the biscuit or bread they had to share and finish (because they know that I’d go bonkers if I see unfinished food), etc.
And every time they ask to eat out, I’d tell them “Soon. When we have enough money.” I never heard any stomping, nor any of them cried because I didn’t give in. That’s a good thing, I guess.
Sharing with you a conversation Lana and I had earlier:
Me: Lana, go down, there’s Mcdonalds spaghetti there for you.
Lana: Wow!!! Mommy, you have money!
Me: Yes, just enough for that.
Lana: THANK YOU MOMMY!!!
And she devoured her spaghetti, like it was the best spaghetti in the world.
Lesson 3: Hard Work
No work, no money.
They now understand why we can no longer rely on the bakehouse’s sales anymore. They learned to adjust just how we have adjusted.
They now know why we need to work on our computers day in and day out.
(and yes, they know that they can earn $$$ from home haha!)
If there’s one important thing I learned about this (aside from the expensive 6-figure lesson…hay!!!), is:
Hardships will always be there. We must not let that phase get in between our relationship with God, our partners and our family, for we cannot face and win the battle alone. Afterall, victories are best shared with people you love.
I hope that my kids will learn this too.